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Saturday, March 24, 2012


So it's Saturday morning and I go out for a walk, pick up some groceries, enjoy the fresh air and sunshine; and then I get shat on.

My shoulder gets creamed with what I can only assume was an intentional assault. It was a serious googer for a bird, too. This guy'd been holding it in, waiting for that perfect moment when I'd walk right underneath his tree so he could just totally unload.

For those of you who haven't walked through a neighborhood with a big wad of shit on your clothes, don't worry. You're not missing much. I stomped the entire way back to the house, genuinely ticked off because I really liked that shirt. By the time I reached the front door, I was questioning the decision to ever leave in the first place.

And that's when I saw the Jehovah's Witness pamphlet crammed into the door. My brain immediately did some math on it's favorite subject, social anxiety, and the resulting numbers showed that I had dodged a staggering amount of awkward questions because I was busy being shit on.

So, think about that the next time someone drops a load of shit on you: Maybe you're actually in the right place at the right time.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Dead Leaves

To show how on top of things I always am, this was released something like a decade ago, and I only found out about it yesterday.

If the sophistication and lasting cultural identity of a piece of art is determined by how many questions it forces you to ask yourself, then Dead Leaves is the smartest, most intelligent shit ever made. Throughout the entire movie I kept asking myself, "What the fuck am I watching?"

And then, after the movie was over? I began asking myself, "What the fuck did I just watch?"

Have you ever heard of a piece of fiction that concludes by bragging about it's enormous plot holes? Honestly, if there's any intellectual stimulation to be found from Dead Leaves, then I didn't find it.

Visual stimulation is another story entirely.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Long Play

For no particular reason other than it's great, Heartbeat, Heartbreak'from the P4 OST!

You hear this from gamers in their twenties or older: they say, "I used to play [this genre/series] and I still really enjoy them, but they're too long, they take too much time, and I can't play them anymore."

And I definitely understand limited time and responsibilities and all that other crap that gets in the way of my fifth play-through of Chrono Trigger, but what I don't get is how any game can be too long to beat if you're still having fun with it. A game doesn't stop working if you can't beat it in two weeks. It doesn't explode if you don't put in two hours a day, every day. What keeps a player from picking up a game they haven't touched in a month, or two months, or a year, and continue what they were enjoying?

I'd like to assume that there's a miscommunication, that what the player is really trying to say is, "I got bored. The game isn't new, anymore, and I want to play something new."
And while I don't entirely empathize with that point of view, at least I understand it. And if this is the case, if the player just doesn't want to play the game anymore, because they're not having fun, then why do they feel the need to say, "I don't have enough time."?
Why not just say, "I don't enjoy playing those games, anymore."?

This topic has been eating at me, especially lately, because I've been involved in some very long plays. Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes? Just beat that, and I've been playing it off-and-on for over a year, now. Same with Advance Wars: Days of Ruin, which I haven't played in months, but might pick up again soon, and it'll probably take another year or so for me to beat. And then there's that piece of crap Grandia, which I guess you could say I started playing over fifteen years ago, although I haven't touched it in over a decade, and even now I'm only playing the game a few hours a week. Etrian Odyssey 2? About four months. That game was a bitch from beginning to end, but when I finished it, and that final boss went down? Bliss.

There's something very satisfying about putting a game on the back-burner and setting it to simmer. You're not pushing yourself towards victory. You're not looking to squeeze in an extra hour when you should be doing something else. Hell, another game could come along and you could play that, and then come right back; or just play them both.
And there's a rhythm to it, too. The game becomes part of your routine. You look forward to taking a bite of something familiar without gorging yourself.

So it's obvious that my perspective is skewed on this topic, I'm in a minority, but the question remains: What am I missing from the statement, "I don't have enough time."? Of course you don't have the same amount of free time that you did when you were twelve, but why limit yourself to the same scheduling habits if it's going to get in the way of something you enjoy?

This whole post was just an excuse for me to brag about beating Etrian Odyssey 2. Just wanted to come clean on that one.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


When I finish this, it is going to be so badass.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

More 'Behind the Scenes' From Ryan

I'm probably a biased party because I'm working on this game so any new features, like kick-ass fireball sound effects, gets me really excited; but by the time this video got to 1:36, I had an enormous, stupid grin on my face.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Ever Wondered How to Make a Video Game?

It involves hitting rocks together.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Beat Beat?

I feel like I dreamed this. I was asleep, in my bed, and I had a dream, and it was this movie. This real, not-a-spoof-trailer movie.

It looks kind of magical. Hobo-who-can-make-rainbows-with-his-hands magical.

What Youtube thinks...

Monday, March 5, 2012

I Ate an Egg and Pickle Sandwich

This is dangerous, hard-core gastronomics. If you do this, make sure not to practice human contact for the next twenty-four hours.

Also, they're not that tasty.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Perfect Character Empathy

I'm somewhere in the middle of Uncharted 3, leading Drake on a ridiculous adventure upon which he's more than happy to be a part of, and it occurred to me: Unlike every other character in every other game I've ever played ever, I was 100% empathetic with Nate. We weren't just on the same page, we were on the same word.