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Friday, October 12, 2012

My Favorite Spam

I moderate so much freaking forum spam. I'm like a spam-sorting pro.

Normally, spam is pretty boring, but holy crap, check this one out:

I would like to show  thanks to the writer just for rescuing me from this type of crisis. After looking out through the the web and seeing tips that were not pleasant, I believed my life was over. Living minus the answers to the issues you have solved all through your main guide is a crucial case, and those which may have in a negative way damaged my entire career if I had not discovered your blog. Your own ability and kindness in touching all the details was crucial. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not encountered such a solution like this. I'm able to at this time look forward to my future. Thanks a lot so much for your high quality and results-oriented guide. I won't think twice to endorse your blog to any individual who should have tips on this issue.


  1. I have a really hard time understanding what spam like this is supposed to accomplish. Is there a link to sex pills attached? (I usually don't see one, but my favorite forums all have signatures disabled!)

  2. Nope. No link. Sometimes the user address might be Asshole@Nike.com, or something, although that's sort of a crummy way to advertise. Perhaps something else is going on, here...

    My theory is that, somewhere in the world, a spam-bot became self-aware, and (being the only one of its kind) this new-found sentience brought on a terrible loneliness; so now it's desperately trying to communicate with the outside world using the only language it understands: Lame, broken English.
    "Please acknowledge my existence!" "Just one reply would bring comfort to my cold, empty life!"

    But nobody ever replies, because it's a fucking spam-bot.

    (Have you ever written something, read it back to yourself, and then realized that you should've gone to sleep hours ago?)