I Have a Purse

Years ago, I bought this cooler/icebox/igloo thing. I was living in warmer climates, usually made a lunch for myself, and it was nice having something that would keep it edible until noon. It was a good purchase.

Years went by and I no longer used the cooler as a lunchbox. Instead of a meal I started stuffing other random items into it: chap-stick, an extra shirt, maybe a grocery item or two. It was so god-damned convenient. How could I resist? How could I know?

And now? I take it everywhere. Instead of leaving crap lying around I just haul it all over the place in my cooler. I'm more likely to forget my wallet than I am to forget this little blue guy.

So how about we open it up and take a look inside.
Let's do an inventory of my dark descent:

• 1 paperback: Christine by Stephen King
• 1 iPod, with earbud headphones
• 1 pair of wool gloves
• 1 expired insurance identification card (I should probably toss that)
• 1 pair of sunglasses
• 1 pair of prescription glasses in a Dolce&Gabanna case I randomly kleptoed years ago.
• 1 Christmas gift, which shall not be named
• 1 package of expired BJ's coupons
• 2 tubes of chapstick
• 1 multi-ink pen
• 1 sharpie
• 3 packages of Stevita sweetener
• 1 notebook
• 10 or so receipts
• And a bunch of other crap.

So there you go. All that's missing are the tampons.
I have a plastic purse.