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Thursday, December 22, 2011

I Have a Purse

Years ago, I bought this cooler/icebox/igloo thing. I was living in warmer climates, usually made a lunch for myself, and it was nice having something that would keep it edible until noon. It was a good purchase.

Years went by and I no longer used the cooler as a lunchbox. Instead of a meal I started stuffing other random items into it: chap-stick, an extra shirt, maybe a grocery item or two. It was so god-damned convenient. How could I resist? How could I know?

And now? I take it everywhere. Instead of leaving crap lying around I just haul it all over the place in my cooler. I'm more likely to forget my wallet than I am to forget this little blue guy.

So how about we open it up and take a look inside.
Let's do an inventory of my dark descent:

  • 1 paperback: Christine by Stephen King
  • 1 iPod, with earbud headphones
  • 1 pair of wool gloves
  • 1 expired insurance identification card (I should probably toss that)
  • 1 pair of sunglasses
  • 1 pair of prescription glasses in a Dolce&Gabanna case I randomly kleptoed years ago.
  • 1 Christmas gift, which shall not be named
  • 1 package of expired BJ's coupons
  • 2 tubes of chapstick
  • 1 multi-ink pen
  • 1 sharpie
  • 3 packages of Stevita sweetener
  • 1 notebook
  • 10 or so receipts
  • And a bunch of other crap.

So there you go. All that's missing are the tampons.
I have a plastic purse.

1 comment:

  1. Something about this is TMI... but what's important is that it's funny.