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Monday, May 30, 2011

The Hand Thing

I'd totally do the hand thing to that guy

Out on the road, two bikers cross paths. One sticks out his closed fist, and the other responds in kind, as a kind of greeting. A sort of, "Hey, fellow biker. You're part of our little biker club. Air fist-bumpies!"

I end up following this biker for a few minutes. Two more bikes pass and guess what? The bikers repeat the hand thing two more times.

And this isn't the first time I've witnessed this behavior. All bikers do this. They're all doing the hand thing to each other. Even as you read this, right this second, there's a biker out there doing the hand thing to another biker. And that other biker? He's doing the hand thing right back.

This is why I'm never going to buy a motorcycle. Because if I rode a Harley, a Kawasaki, or some other I-don't-care-about-living-to-collect-social-security vehicle then I'd feel required by society to do the hand thing, and I'd feel stupid every time I did it.

What's the point? It's not like I wave at every pedestrian I walk past. Are all bikers secretly desperate for communal security? Did one asshole just do it one day, another responded reflexively and then they all just assumed that's how they were supposed to act without really asking each other? Because I could believe that.

I mean, sure, I could just ignore every passing biker as he sticks out his hand and pleads, "Love me, please! Acknowledge my fist!" but then I'd be a dick.

The other option is to just never ride my bike on a Saturday, which would cut off the required hand thing quota by about 95%.

Granted, I wasn't really planning on purchasing a motorcycle but now it's not even an option. I am not doing the hand thing.

1 comment:

  1. Haha... It's all so true! I've actually been thinking about getting a bike. In order to spur this idea, I innocently wandered into the local Harley store. The salesbiker (he could not have looked more the part) proceeded to sell me on not only the bikes, but also the culture. Apparently it's impossible to buy a Harley without automatically being initiated into one or more "clubs". So I'm like, wait, if I buy this bike, I have to hang out with these people? But even if you ride something else, there is still a thing about motorcycles that forms an instant connection between people. I guess this sounds cheesy, but you might have to ride one yourself to understand.