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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Grocery Store Myth

(If you already know this then good for you, but I'm discovering that most people don't)

You know how, if you reach into the back of a row of milk jugs, the furthest ones almost always have the best dates?

This trick only works with milk.

If you reach into the back of a row of Greek salad dressing then you're most likely going to grab one with a bad date.

There are three reasons for this:

  1. The dairy department has a cool sliding door behind the milk section so they can push the new stuff in from their secret room. Salad dressing does not have a cool sliding door. All new product gets shoved into the front of the shelf and the old stuff stays in the back, unless someone cares enough to rotate the product.
  2. Nobody cares.
  3. The night crew stocked the salad dressing, and those dudes don't care whether you live or die.

As long as I'm on the subject:

  • It's impossible for a grocery store to keep up with their expired product. Try doing it for five minutes and you'll see why.
  • If you're most people then you never check the expiration date.
  • Most of your food is expired.
  • The later the expiration date, the better tasting your food will be. Please think about that.
  • Don't bother telling any employees about the expired product, because they don't care.
  • If you thought the manager cared, then come back to the store in an hour and check the shelves, because he put it back up.
  • If it's not there, just like I said, then that's because someone just bought it.
  • And don't buy close-coded products (the expiration date is written in code) because that food is probably ancient and the vendor who stocked it actively hates you.
  • I've found medicine and baby food expired for up to three years.
  • That last fact should upset you and make you more diligent on your next shopping trip.


  1. You're a pretty funny dude...way funnier than your roommate.

  2. Love this blog man! Definitely keeping it real

  3. http://Darknut.com/?p=20110712-ExpirationDates