It's The Coolest Game Ever!

But I'm not really finished yet, and now that we've hit the work-week things are gonna slow dramatically.

Uh, new post, new post...

Hold on. Uncle Justin is going to rummage around in his magic steamer chest...

Technically, I Haven't Been Working for 24 Hours

I've sort of been off-and-on the computer this weekend so it doesn't really count as 24 hours yet, right?

Holy shit, I can't even make a crappy shooter in 24 hours. This is literally the easiest genre to make a game for. I have no excuses. I'm just slow. Really, really slow.

Here, take a look at my work-log:

Hours 2 to 4 - Made the input code super complicated. At about 90% completion I deleted it all and wrote better code in under ten lines.

Hours 5 to 6 - Endlessly tweaked the controls.

Hours 7 to 8 - Convinced myself the velocity code was bugged. It wasn't.

Hours 8 to 9 - Put in the entire interface and then removed it all, because it looked hella lame.

Sooo...

Still in the oven. Not done yet.

Master your missiles on February 28th!

24 Hours: 1 Game

I've been working on a pretty large game project for a while now and it's looking really good (If you think 16-bit games look good then yes, it looks good), but I probably bit off more than I can chew and I think I'm well and good in the darker stages of burnout where you can still want to work on something but at the same time you really, really can't--not efficiently, at least.

But I have a solution!

I'm going to make a game, maybe a few games. I'm going to do them fast, too. The only point for doing this will be just so that I can have the satisfaction of actually making a game. I'm pretty confident it'll fix this burnout problem of mine.

Here are the requirements:

•  Planning and content can be done on off-hours, but the coding needs to be completed within 24 hours.
• 8-bit graphics. 320x240 resolution.
• Sound effects produced in as3sfxr-b (not a sexy name, but it's a very sexy program).
• Nothing fancy. Nothing innovative. Just a genre that everyone has played enough to make my project entirely pointless.
• Needs a stupid name. This is non-negotiable.
• Bad code. I'm good at this, but I'm still listing it here.

Check it out! I already did the artwork. Missile Master should be a stupid enough name, right?

Look at all that wasted image space. It's very inefficient, which is exactly what I want.

The SFX are ready, too.


If it's worth playing I'll make it available as soon as I'm finished.

Hobbit Feet

It's really starting to bother me that I've gone all this time without talking about my feet. People even ask me that, sometimes. They're like:

"Justin, what gives? You've got this blog and you talk about all this crap I don't care about when what I really want to know is what's up with your feet."

I guess it's time to clear the air.

I have hobbit feet.

Video Power

(Commentary by Retsupurae)

Video Power was this video game show that existed from 1990 to 1992, and until recently I never knew it existed.

It's bad.

Actually, it's terrible, and I hate to admit this but if we were back in the early nineties and Video Power appeared on the TV then I'm positive I would've watched the show every time it came on until the very last episode.

Because there's video games in it.

Swearing: Just Words or Sinister Biological Remote Control?

For the longest time I always thought that the stigma on swearing was just cultural baggage and nothing else. The only magic put into those words is the value that other people assign them.

They're just words. That's it.

Right?

Missing: My Balls

(I just noticed that 90% of my headers are status updates on my genitals)



I bought Amnesia: The Dark Descent back in December. Since then, every two weeks, I turn the game on and play for about ten minutes (sometimes fifteen). Maybe I'll walk down a hallway. Investigate a room. I never last very long. After ten-sometimes-fifteen minutes my nerves are shot and I have to step away from the computer.

For two weeks.

Because that's how long it takes for me to forget how scared I am of a video game.

The idea is that if I keep playing the game then eventually I'm going to toughen up and last longer than ten-to-fifteen minutes. Eventually, I'll be able to walk through Castle Brennenburg like a man.

But I just played Amnesia and this time I only lasted about three minutes. I barely got past the load screen.

I don't think I'm ever going to beat this game.