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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Video Games in the 90's Sucked

That's right. Video games in the 90's sucked and you don't even know it.

Sure, reminisce about your Mario 64 and your Chrono Trigger and your Tekken 2. What's that? Three games? Just three?

You've got nostalgia, man. You've got it all over your face. It's disgusting.

Don't worry, man. I've got a cure. I can sober you up with just one word...

Told ya.

Accolade published Bubsy: Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind in 1993 as a sort of marketing response to Sonic the Hedgehog. The game was released with a massive advertising campaign and sold well enough to create a franchise with a number of sequels.

What the hell am I looking at?

The plot? Aliens stole yarn and now Bubsy wants it back.

Sure. Whatever. I played a game where aliens stole our chicks and had a blast playing that. I don't need any logical motivation to assume the role of a bobcat who runs around outside without any pants on. Let's just play the game. Let's, uh, play Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind. Is there any way to say that name without shuddering?

But I have to be fair to Bubsy. While Claws Encounters might be the worst title ever conceived for a game, it's not the worst game ever made. Some people even think Bubsy is pretty cool (unless someone put together the fan blog as a joke, which I find much easier to believe).

Bubsy... You're creeping me out.

But Bubsy is proof of a very important point: video games in the 90's sucked. Maybe there were a few good games but the bad ones were legion. When people talk about how terrible and unoriginal video games are these days I want to slap them. I want to slap them and scream in their face, "There! How did that feel? Bad? Because that's what it felt like to play video games in the 90's. Bulletstorm isn't good enough for you? Killzone 3 is lame? Go fuck yourself! I played E.T. on the 2600 for hours and hours because it was all that I had and I never bitched out!"

As the overall quality of video games increases, so do the consumer standards.
Quantity of critical review videos = proportional quality of games

Although I did bitch out on Bubsy 3D.

Yes, I played Bubsy 3D, I only last about fifteen minutes, and if you played it, you'd understand.


  1. Hmmm, I'm not sure what you're going for here. Sure, there were a lot of games like Bubsy during the early 90s, and they were mostly all Sonic wanna-bes. But uh... I don't see how that leads to a statement like "all games in the 90s sucked". What else is a really bad game besides Bubsy? I think I could come up with worse (not that you'd have heard of it). And more importantly, your examples of "good" games weren't all that good. Are you ignoring better examples in order to support your argument? Or did you really never play anything good? I'm really just curious at this point since I find the latter hard to believe, and I want to hear about some great games you played from the 90s.