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Thursday, March 31, 2011

I Must Show You My Sexy New Toy

Now all I need is a 3DS game.
Do they have those yet? Good ones?

I guess it's no big deal. I've got an easy, 3-step process to make my 3DS launch the best system launch ever.

And it can work for you, too!

       Completely ignore the DS for the last 6 years.

There are plenty of other games to play and even though you've been thinking of buying a DS since 2004 (and a GBA before that) there's always a new handheld on the horizon, so you might as well wait a little longer. DSXL sounds pretty cool, right?

       Wait for Hollywood Video to go bankrupt and then buy all of their DS games for a few bucks each.

It's full of DS games.

You might not own a DS yet but you will eventually, right? You'd better be prepared by waiting for the ultimate upheaval of the entertainment rental industry and then pouncing on their desperate liquidation sales like some kind of video game addicted tiger.

        Play Chrono Trigger.

You could probably apply this step to any three step process, and it would still be the right step.

And you'd think that Chrono Trigger would be boring after playing it all these times, right?


Honestly, it's so good I feel as if all of the designers were sitting at a table back in 1995 going, "Okay. We need to tailor this game so that Justin has a fucking awesome time playing it on the 3DS over fifteen years from now."

And everyone at the table goes silent...

And they all nod and grunt, "Hai!"

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